Doing One's Best

Mothers often ask me how to help their child stop dawdling.

In my early years with our curriculum company, I wrote about keeping lessons short, choosing material a child could understand, alternating different kinds of work, and forming the habit of finishing in a reasonable time. Those things matter. A child may dawdle because the lesson is too long, the material is not suited to him, or he has not yet learned how to bring a piece of work to a close.

But that advice left me with a question. It seemed to place all the effort on the teaching parent: choose the right material, arrange the lessons, keep the day moving. I knew I was missing something, so I went back to learn again from my master teacher, Charlotte Mason.

In A Philosophy of Education, Miss Mason writes:

The children, not the teachers, are the responsible persons; they do the work by self-effort. The teachers give the uplift of their sympathy in the work and where necessary elucidate, sum up or enlarge, but the actual work is done by the scholars. (p 6)

This sounds so good and admirable. But how do you make it happen in a homeschool? How does a child learn to make an effort, rather than having the effort made for him?

A mother named Megan gave me permission to share what she had come to understand about her youngest son:

Sometimes my youngest son dawdled because he did not have a very strong work ethic. This began early on, and I failed to realize it. He is so very bright that most things come easily to him. When he faces something he actually needs to press in and work for, he balks. I didn't notice this problem in my son right away because he gave such fabulous narrations and wrote beautiful copywork, etc. I didn’t realize that later on we'd face this problem with his aversion to hard effort.

Megan’s account made me wonder how often a child’s success can hide the fact that he has had little practice pressing on when a task becomes difficult.

I found a way into this question in the Parents’ Review article “Grit.” Mrs. J. W. takes us through practical examples of a child’s growing effort. She describes children making their own attempts, taking part in family work, making amends, giving attention to a task, and working toward something they want. Her examples helped me see how Mason’s principle of self-effort reaches into the ordinary life of a child.

Ward’s suggestions are simple and practical:

Let the child make the effort he is capable of making. Ward begins with a baby reaching for an object just beyond him. As children grow, they can try to open a box, put away toys, or manage a task they are ready to do. We can help where needed and allow them time to try.

Let children take part in ordinary life. They can help prepare a meal or a tea party, care for a pet, tend a garden, or make something of their own. Their work gives them a share in family life and makes the pleasure that follows more meaningful.

Help children make amends when they cause damage. A child who spills the water can fetch a cloth; one who breaks a toy can help with the repair. In this way, he learns that his actions affect others and that he can help set things right.

Expect care and attention in work suited to the child. Ward asks parents to take a child’s efforts seriously and to expect him to do what he can well. In lessons, this means work suited to the child’s capacity and a real effort to attend.

Give effort somewhere worthwhile to go. Ward saves this for last. A child needs interests, useful activity, and room to use and extend his abilities. He needs something worth caring about, learning, making, or working toward.

I can see Miss Mason’s principle more clearly now. The parent’s part is real: she chooses suitable work, gives sympathy and guidance, and makes room for the child to take part. The child’s attention, response, and effort still belong to him. As he takes a more active part in his lessons and in the life around him, he learns that his own effort has purpose.

A Year with Landseer-2027 Charlotte Mason Picture Study Calendar

A child’s attention grows when he has something worth looking at closely. Landseer’s paintings invite a second look: there are expressions to notice, gestures to follow, and relationships between the animals to discover. A Year with Landseer brings a different painting into view each month, giving your family time to return to an image and see more in it. The calendar keeps the pictures before you; the real gift is learning to look. See the Landseer paintings here.